i literally signed myself up for all this (also, am I tending analytic? when did that happen either)

[0dense]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
the semester is winding up to sock me in the face and I'm scrambling to stay above water

this week I: 

• did that interview I mentioned, with the basic needs advocacy campaign
• got sick :(
• picked out my fall courseload
  • at least 3 undergrad and 1 master's, bc they're all high numbers and I'll be working, and every advisor has had this pained look on their face when I try to mention doing 5 courses +  working + commuting
  • the lecturer I liked last semester will actually be going on to her phd program in the fall, so I have an alternate in case the class I was gonna trust her to teach doesn't actually pan out
    • look, ethics is hard, feminist ethics is harder, you really gotta trust your teachers for these ones
  • also I ran into a system glitch that my whole program is gonna be hitting, so the department didn't realise it would be an issue and we all spent a very anxious afternoon pouring over my student profile
  • also I got to run it all by our department chair and he's hard to catch but very reassuring once you find him, so when he approved my plan it was Good
• picked a summer class
• confirmed that I'll be working over the summer
• scheduled a review with my boss's boss, she's nice but it's terrifying on principle
• jumped through finaid hoops
• spat out my first actual paper on legal metaethics - it's short, but as a project, it's gonna grow
  • I have loads of respect for Dodek ofc, but the deep anxiety in Lawyering at the Intersection of Public Law and Legal Ethics; Government Lawyers as Custodians of the Rule of Law is so real I have to laugh

I still have like two and a half weeks total, for: (some of which are due earlier) (not all of these are starting from scratch, I've got good work going, but as a list)

• like 7 metaphysics and/or epistemology short essays
  • like, they're short, it's more that there's 7 of them
• like another 7 responses that I'm behind on, on various readings on power
  • hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahelp
• a regular paper on metaethics and dworkin
  • I picked this topic back before spring break, and then the latest short essay we did for this class was on like, dworkin and hart and legal realism, so I basically already handed in my bare-bones thoughts on this. I'll be expanding them a lot; I hope professor doesn't mind that I'm talking about the same thing twice
    • metaethics is like, my Thing this semester tho, he can live with my special interest
• a regular paper on something about nietzsche and roles/responsibilities in/to society
  • spoilers: fuck nietzsche, man
• a bigass terrifying paper on foucault and the panopticon and christianity in america
  • • hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahafuck
• probably a final on virtue epistemology, hasn't been formally assigned yet
  • I really liked the paper I wrote last semester on ignorance as prerequisite to any knowledge, I'll probably do something similar. Again with 'I hope professor doesn't mind that I'm repeating myself, but I've got a bee in my bonnet'
  • basically, it's: ignorance to concious ignorance to confusion to curiosity to epistemic growth
    • humility is the linchpin
  • really not unlike the attitude in XKCD 1053
• probably a final on cost-benefit analysis with a social/ethical angle, hasn't been formally assigned yet
  • I had to cut the angry socialist paragraph out of my last paper for this class bc of wordcount, so you bet it's going back in this one

but in good news: 

• Dnd campaign is starting this weekend! 
  • I'm never not laughing about the fact that we're starting a collaborative storytelling event in a setting inspired by the Republic, aka one of the most famous thought experiments in all of history, God I love being part of this nerdiest of traditions
• Changeling is ongoing!
  • I thought I was gonna be playing a ravenclaw here, by temperament; turns out I can't turn off the slytherdor and I really really wanna take my ex-keeper to court lmao
  • class action suit time, I'm gonna make it happen!!!
• it's my birthday next week!
  • when did this happen, time keeps happening so fast
  • I'm not old, I'm def in the youngest tier of my master's classmates, but oh man do I feel it in the gen eds with the traditional undergrad kids

and tonight I will: 

• eat dinner
• make up my mind between lavender and chrysanthemum to steam my face/sinuses with as I: 
• watch another episode of Disguiser

also, I started watching Disguiser last weekend and I def don't have the time to spare to binge it like I did NiF but I'm really liking it too. Yeah, it's absolutely much more intense - NiF has high stakes but is essentially fantasy, for how much the politics hit me. Disguiser is the occupation is still viscerally present in my family. But Hu Ge is an amazing actor and I'm so worried about this family. I mean, everyone's doing excellent jobs and Jin Dong has a great presence, but seeing Hu Ge go from immaculate Su Zhe/Mei Changsu/Lin Shu to an ingénu is frankly boggling, I'm very impressed.