chin up, and good night

[0dense]

one hand, I'm behind on my seminar response pages. and that is Stressful.
Also the general not eating or sleeping right is gonna catch up to me soon I think, gotta do something about that.

Other hand, today I: 

• oversaw a workshop for the first time
  • our office has open programs every few weeks, and our allied attorney-friend (as opposed to our affiliated attorney-antagonist) did the legal talk while I got to make sure the space and tech and materials were generally in place. so I didn't run it myself, per se, but I still get to fill in the report
• was invited to sing at ash wednesday mass!!!
  • I haven't sung for a mass in so long!!! I'm so honored!!!
  • and this is a congregation where I have my own chosen name, will I have to put a trans pin on myself to sing for the Bishop, I'll do it. I'm here. I'm part of this Church. Like it or not, your excellency. This is who my best and most honest self is.
• rallied the interns and we finished assembling a book-case, proved myself the lord and master of manually screwing things together
  • 3 screws while someone was trying the power tool, you bet I did
• finally started to speak up in the seminar!! it's only taken like 5 weeks!!!
  • I still feel like an idiot, like I'm just making these very surface-level comments. But at least I'm participating more?
  • I've got this rule where I've got to speak up at least once per class, for every class. Maybe that's asking a question, just that I didn't get what on earth section 23 was about, maybe it's building. But it's my baseline, and I gotta stick to it

I'm just. so tired. all the time. And I know I could be doing more, and better, but I'm not, and it's exhasting in its own right. Just gotta stick it out, a week at a time